The Final Fifty











{March 29, 2013}   Shoes (Part 2), Brussels sprouts (Attempt 2)

In my continuing efforts to not spend myself into utter financial ruin, last night I dug through my shoes to see if there were any fun ones that I could now wear again in order to satisfy my need for stompy, tall shoes. Fortunately, there are a couple pairs that I think will do for at least a little bit. Unfortunately, after trying on a bunch of shoes, I find there are some that are just too big on me now, and I have to say goodbye to them.

This is happening, wardrobe wide, unsurprisingly. It would all be so much more fun if I could afford to go out and replace things with decent clothes, but right now, that’s not an option for me. It’s not like the stuff I have to let go of was expensive, designer stuff or anything, but I really don’t want to go buy a bunch of clothes that I am going to shrink out of again in a few months. I don’t know that I’ll be able to really make it to my goal without buying anything, but I might have to make due with a lot less until I get there. The first thing I need to get, though, is a belt, or I’m going to end up going all wardrobe malfunction at some point.

As part of my ongoing efforts to be mentally and emotionally invested in all points regarding my health and my body image, I’ve been looking at clothes online, trying to edit the way I think about clothing. My “fashion sense”, if you can call it that, has basically been informed by questions like: a) will it make me look pregnant? b) will it make me look heavier? c) will it cling in any of my “problem areas”? I’m realizing now how far down the list I have to go before I get to “do I like this?” I don’t anticipate my body will ever been such that I don’t have to consider whether or not it will look good on me, but maybe there will come a day when I don’t automatically dismiss such a wide range of things as “things that I can’t wear.”

I’m sure I will always be a t-shirt and jeans sort of girl, because I honestly don’t tend to have the time or inclination to tart myself up all the time. I can get really enthusiastic about it for maybe a week or so, but inevitably I end up going back to what is easy and comfortable. But there are still a lot of cute clothes out there that are easy and comfortable, and I’ve managed to work a few dresses and skirts in over the last couple of years, so maybe I’ll branch out even more once buying clothes isn’t the soul-crushing experience it has so often been for me in the past.

I’m going to give Brussels sprouts another go today with this recipe. I liked them ok last time, so it’s not that this is their last chance or anything, but we happen to have some cheese left from when I made the cauliflower-crust pizza, so I thought I’d give it a go in the cast iron pan and see if I like it even better. I don’t know if DBF will try them or not, but I need to use them up either way, and cheese never made a food worse.

I have tonight off from rehearsal, which feels really damned luxurious at this point. We have plans to watch a movie with friends, but I am hoping to dance and maybe do some weights before we leave for their place. Maybe a bit ambitious, but I don’t know if I’m going to make it to dance tomorrow or not, so I don’t want to get caught up in the down time and get lazy. If nothing else, their place is about 1.5 miles away, so I’ll get a good walk in at least.

Also, Jen Larsen’s book, Stranger Here, has arrived! I haven’t finished the other books I’m reading, but that’s never stopped me before.

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